National Bullying Prevention Month: How To Cope With Getting Teased

This is a post I have been contemplating for quite some time and to be honest, I have no idea why I’m just now choosing to write it. I have briefly touched on the subject of bullying, but not as in depth as I will go in this post. I figured since it was National Bullying Prevention Month, there’s no more perfect time than now to address the issue and to also share my experience. Hopefully it can also help some of you out there who may be battling the same issues!

I’ll start by saying that this isn’t a post about me sharing my straight up “bullying” experience; however, I do feel that there are different forms of bullying and just because you’re not all in someone’s face doesn’t make it not bullying. My experience in grade school with bullying was strictly getting picked on and laughed at and to me, that’s just as bad as bullying. At the time, I had a decent self-esteem, so I didn’t fully take what was said to heart. At the same time, I had no one to go to and talk about what I was dealing with.

In my years, there was no such thing as telling black families “I’m getting picked on in school” “or “I’m being bullied.” Their response was almost always one of the following:

• “Just ignore them.”
• “Hit them back.” (believe me, this is very much censored, haha)
• “Tell the teacher.”
• “You’ll be okay.”

For the record, I’m in no way “race-baiting” or speaking ill thoughts of my race and what goes on in our households; this is straight up reality and what actually happens. Y’all know I keep it real over here and sugarcoating is nowhere in my vocabulary. Growing up, I was given the 1st and 3rd statements. Trusting my parents the way I did, I went with the 1st option and in no way did it help anything in my situation.

So yes, I ignored the teasers and for a little while, I’ll admit, it did help. Over time though, it continued to happen and it eventually became a buildup of hurt and emotional distress, which is no good for anyone, not even a kid. It caused me to have a mental breakdown my freshman year of college and I immediately put myself into counseling at my university. This is also something I’ve never talked to anyone about before now, but trust me when I say it’s nothing to play around with. I was quite fortunate enough to not have it interfere with my studies because I tackled it as soon as I felt myself going crazy.

So I basically shared all of this to say this…you are not alone in being bullied. Whether you’re being bullied, or the parent of someone that is, there is always someone else out there that really gets it and won’t sweep it under the rug. I personally chose not to go with the option of “tell the teacher” because I knew in my particular school system I went through, they never address bullying issues. The same holds true to this day where they still don’t do anything and for it to now be 2018 where suicides happen more often than ever, it’s really sad. How can we expect our kids to trust us enough to talk if we continue to ignore them and their cries continue to go unheard?! If you’re in that position where you have no one to talk to or you feel helpless, let me teach you a trick that has helped me and is still helping me. The key is knowing that what you’re being teased about will help you in the long run. Now I’ll admit, this may sound weird, but just hear me out. To make you better understand, I’ll share what I was teased for in grade school and share why it really didn’t end up mattering in the end! 😉

Top reasons I was teased:

1. Too skinny. Fortunately for me, being “too skinny” is what has allowed me to better manage my weight today. If I gain a few pounds, I’m still fit. If I lose a few, still fit. I’m in no way shaped like a few of my teasing schoolmates and for that, I’m grateful!
2. No boobs. Now I was mainly teased by guys about this, but a few females chimed in on it too. Because of my small boobs, they’ve now grown to a manageable size. They’re not too big where they make my back hurt. They’re not too big where wearing a bra ever becomes annoying. They’re shaped perfectly proportionate to my body and I thank God for them. Can’t say the same for those who teased me. 😆
3. Too nerdy. This one makes me cackle now, almost like a Halloween cackle. Because I was a nerd in school, I was able to translate that through my college studies and to my present career. It has allowed me to make smarter personal and professional decisions. It has allowed me to be successful in all the industries I’ve worked. I’d much rather be educated and a nerd, than a job-hopper that’s lazy and never satisfied with anything.
4. Big eyes. Now this was one of the most common things I was picked on for. Because of my big eyes, I’m able to achieve colorful eyeshadow looks since I have plenty of space up there. My vision is also better than most, being still contacts and glasses free. I can also pretty much rock any eyelashes I want! I’ve even recently been told, “you have the prettiest eyes.” That only tells me that I was wrong in ever letting this get to me!
5. DSLs. Now I won’t spell out what this means on here; you’ll have to use Urban Dictionary, but my lips happen to be one of my favorite things about myself! They allow me to rock bold lips confidently and just help to frame my entire face. Not a good reason to tease me now!

Feel me now?

Now that I’ve broken it down for you a bit better, I encourage you to make a list of everything you’re being teased about, then come up with ways those things could end up being good, because they more than likely will. Even if you’re being teased about a disability, you actually qualify for scholarships in college that everyone else doesn’t. You’re allowed a blue parking pass with a wheelchair to park closer than everyone else. If you’re deaf, you are able to interpret a language most of us can’t. If you’re blind, you can still achieve almost whatever your heart desires! I mean, just look up Christine Hà. She took home the Masterchef trophy being blind, when all the other cooks could see!

Once you’ve made this list along with reasons they can turn out good, it should definitely help you cope with being teased if it’s to happen again in the future. Also remember if you end up not having anyone to talk to as I didn’t, there’s always me! 😘

SHOP THE LOOK!

Photos: Madeline Faye Photography